Belonging

Family

Feeling connected to a group, family, having a sense of purpose and being accepted in community with others.

In essence

Belonging, is not merely about being physically present in a group or community. It’s about finding our unique place where our authentic selves are not just accepted, but celebrated. Belonging means that our contributions are valued, our presence is appreciated, and our voice is heard. It’s about forming meaningful connections that enrich our lives and the lives of those around us.

Belonging fosters a sense of security and support. In a world where we’re often faced with challenges and uncertainties, knowing that we have a community where we can turn to for support and guidance is invaluable. It gives us the strength to face adversity, the courage to explore new avenues, and the confidence to be our true selves. The sense of belonging imbues us with a sense of purpose and place, a feeling that we are a part of something greater than ourselves.

Yet, belonging also calls for a balance – the balance between embracing our individuality and contributing to the collective. It invites us to bring our unique perspectives and experiences to the table while remaining open to the influences and ideas of others. This symbiotic relationship enhances our understanding of the world and broadens our horizons.

In our pursuit of belonging, we also learn the importance of inclusivity and empathy. We recognise that every individual has a unique story, a distinct path that has led them to where they are. By fostering an environment of inclusivity, we not only enrich our own lives but also create a space where others can flourish.

Belonging is about finding our place in the world where we can be just as we choose to be and contribute meaningfully, and connect deeply with others. It’s about feeling valued and understood, while also valuing and understanding others. Belonging is a journey of mutual respect and shared growth, a journey that enriches our lives and shapes our understanding of the world and ourselves. It is, indeed, a fundamental human need and a powerful force for personal and communal development.

Maya Angelou’s quote encourages us to ponder on the concept of belonging. Belonging is not just about having a sense of affinity with a certain place or group of people, but rather a recognition that we are all part of a greater whole. By acknowledging that we belong everywhere and nowhere, we open ourselves up to the infinite possibilities of the world.

We can find belonging in the shared experiences that we encounter in our daily lives, in the emotions that we feel, and in the aspirations that we have. When we truly understand the universal essence of belonging, we are able to connect with others on a deeper level and create a more inclusive and compassionate society.

Affirmation

I am part of a greater whole, and my sense of belonging nurtures my soul, empowers my growth, and connects me with others.

In practice

What it is – Belonging is the warm embrace of a community where our unique selves are valued. It’s finding a space where our ideas and feelings are respected, where we can share and grow in harmony with others. Belonging is that sense of ease and acceptance among peers, a place where our unique voice adds to the symphony of the collective.

What it can be – Belonging can be a powerful force for personal and social transformation. It might start with joining a group that shares our interests or values, evolving into a deep sense of connection and mutual support. This journey can lead to newfound confidence, a stronger sense of identity, and a fulfilling sense of community engagement.

What it isnt – Belonging isnt about conforming or losing our individuality in the group. Its not about changing who we are to fit in; rather, its about finding a place where our authentic selves are celebrated. Belonging isn’t just being included in a group, it’s feeling connected and valued within it.

In connection

Empathy: Belonging is the heartfelt sense of being part of something greater than ourselves, a community, a shared purpose, or a collective identity. Empathy is the bridge that connects us to this sense of belonging. It’s our ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to see the world through their eyes and walk a mile in their shoes. In the context of belonging, empathy fosters deeper connections, as it allows us to resonate with the experiences and emotions of those around us. Its the glue that binds individuals into a cohesive group, ensuring that everyone feels understood, valued, and part of a larger whole.

Respect: Respect is another cornerstone that upholds the value of belonging. It involves honouring the differences and similarities among us, acknowledging the unique contributions of each individual. Respect in the realm of belonging is about creating an environment where every voice is heard and valued, where diversity is celebrated rather than merely tolerated. Its about recognising the inherent worth of every individual and ensuring that this recognition is evident in our interactions and organisational culture.

Interconnection of Belonging, Empathy, and Respect:

  • Empathy Enhances Belonging: Empathy allows us to form deep, meaningful connections with others, fostering a sense of belonging. When we empathise, we not only share in the emotions of others but also contribute to a nurturing environment where everyone feels they belong.
  • Respect Solidifies Belonging: Respect acts as a foundation for belonging, creating a space where diversity is embraced and individuality is celebrated. It ensures that the sense of belonging is not superficial but rooted in genuine acknowledgment and appreciation of each persons unique identity.
  • Belonging Nurtured by Empathy and Respect: Belonging is the collective experience that emerges when empathy and respect are practiced consistently. Its a dynamic and inclusive state where individuals feel connected, valued, and part of something greater than themselves.

In summary, the core value of Belonging is intricately linked with Empathy and Respect. Empathy allows us to connect and share in the experiences of others, building a sense of community and shared understanding. Respect ensures that this community is grounded in the recognition and appreciation of each individuals worth. Together, these values create a nurturing environment where everyone feels they belong, contributing to the overall health and vitality of the community and aligning perfectly with the transformative journey of self-discovery and mutual growth.

Reflections

Continuous Growth: As we ponder the role of belonging in our community, we consider how it contributes to our growth. This reflection is vital in understanding the importance of nurturing inclusion. Recognising the personal development stemming from being an integral part of a wider community is key. Its about seeing ourselves not just as individuals but as active, contributing members of a group that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Adaptability and Resilience: The sense of belonging brings more than comfort; it equips us with the resilience to adapt to life’s myriad changes and challenges. Its in the strength of our communal bonds that we find support, enabling us to withstand and thrive amidst life’s ebbs and flows. This support network is a testament to our collective resilience, a source of strength in times of change and uncertainty.

Passion and Curiosity: Our passions and curiosities are often intertwined with our sense of belonging. Understanding this connection helps illuminate the paths that draw us closer to our community or groups. Its about exploring how our interests align with those of our community, enhancing our engagement and enriching our communal experiences.

Impact on Others: Reflecting on the impact of our sense of belonging on those around us opens a window to deeper empathy, compassion, and shared responsibility. Our connection with a group or community doesnt just shape us; it also influences those we interact with. This understanding fosters a more profound appreciation of our role within the community and the ripple effect of our actions.

Balance and Harmony: Balancing our sense of belonging with other facets of our life is crucial for maintaining harmony. Reflecting on this balance helps us avoid overcommitting to one aspect at the expense of others. It’s about creating a well-rounded identity, ensuring that our involvement in the community complements, rather than dominates, the diverse elements of our lives. This balanced approach allows us to live fully in all areas, fostering a sense of completeness and alignment.

Counter values

Here are three counter values that contrast significantly with belonging: exclusion, indifference, and divisiveness. Each of these not only challenges but also clarifies the essential nature of belonging.

Exclusion: Exclusion is a direct counter value to belonging, characterised by the deliberate or unconscious sidelining of individuals or groups. This action creates barriers to belonging, often based on differences such as background, beliefs, or behaviours. Exclusion leads to isolation and a diminished sense of community cohesion, starkly opposing the inclusive essence of belonging. Recognising and addressing exclusion involves understanding its roots—often fear, prejudice, or a lack of awareness—and actively working towards inclusive practices that foster a sense of belonging for all.

Indifference: Indifference towards the needs and experiences of others stands in sharp contrast to the empathy and connection central to belonging. It manifests as a lack of interest or concern about the inclusion and well-being of others in the community. This detachment can prevent the formation of strong, supportive bonds that define a sense of belonging. Combating indifference requires cultivating a culture of empathy and active engagement, where every individual’s presence and contribution are valued and nurtured.

Divisiveness: Divisiveness refers to the promotion of discord and conflict within a group, which undermines the unity and harmony essential for a sense of belonging. It often arises from entrenched biases and competing interests that prioritise individual agendas over collective well-being. This counter value can fracture communities, making it difficult for members to feel a part of something greater. To overcome divisiveness, it is crucial to encourage dialogue, understanding, and compromise, aiming to align disparate goals and reinforce the shared values that promote belonging.

By examining these counter values, we deepen our understanding of belonging and the factors that can impede it. Each counter value not only poses a barrier but also serves as a guide, highlighting the areas that require attention and deliberate action. This exploration is pivotal in cultivating a community where belonging is not merely an ideal but a lived reality, enhancing both individual fulfilment and collective harmony.

Popular culture

Brene Brown (researcher and author): “True belonging doesnt require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” Brown’s words emphasise the authenticity that comes with true belonging, enhancing personal growth.

George Eliot (author): “What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?” This quote encapsulates the idea that human connection and support for one another create a sense of belonging, urging us to ease each other’s burdens.

John F. Kennedy (politician): “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” This quote inspires a sense of belonging to a nation, urging individuals to contribute to the greater good.

Steven Spielberg (film director): “The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.” This quote speaks to the mentorship and connection between individuals, promoting a sense of belonging without compromising individuality.

J.K. Rowling (author): “We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” This quote from the “Harry Potter” series emphasises the strength derived from a sense of belonging and unity.

~ C.S. Lewis (British author)

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now.”

Lewis uses the metaphor of “coming home” to convey a powerful sense of arrival and fulfillment. This metaphorical home is not just a physical place but a state of being where the individual feels a profound connection and alignment with their surroundings, purpose, and self. The language is evocative, tapping into the universal human desire for a place where one can be unapologetically oneself.

The mention of “real country” goes beyond geographical borders; it signifies a spiritual or existential realm that resonates with the core of the individual. This suggests that true belonging transcends the superficial and material, reaching into the realms of identity, purpose, and authenticity.

Lewis emphasises the discovery of belonging, stating, “though I never knew it till now.” This implies that the journey towards belonging is often one of self-discovery, realisation, and sometimes, a revelation that comes unexpectedly. It underscores the dynamic nature of the quest for belonging, which may involve exploration, growth, and introspection.

C.S. Lewis | Biography, Books, Mere Christianity, ...
C.S. Lewis, Irish-born scholar, novelist, and author of about 40 books, many of them on Christian ...

~ E.T. (fictional character)

“E.T. phone home.”

The concept of belonging is one that has been explored in various mediums, including film. One of the most iconic examples is the character of E.T. from the movie ‘E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial’.

Despite being an extraterrestrial creature from a different world, E.T. manages to convey a universal human desire to belong. This is exemplified in his famous line, “E.T. phone home.” These words are not just a simple request for communication, but rather a reflection of the deep yearning for a sense of connection and community.

By giving voice to this fundamental human need, the character of E.T. has become an enduring symbol of the power of belonging to transcend even the most extreme differences in species and origin.

VALUES JOURNALING

Having spent time learning about and reflecting on this value, you will have already began to weigh up the impact and importance that this value may hold for you.

Now is an opportunity to really find some clarity by engaging with it in written form and answering some or all of the questions below. You can use the pages provided or use a journaling method of your choice.

  • How does my sense of belonging contribute to my identity, and in what ways do I identify with the groups or communities I am part of?

  • Have there been instances where I felt excluded, and how did that impact my sense of belonging? Conversely, how have I contributed to making others feel included?

  • How has my sense of belonging evolved over time? Are there specific life events or experiences that have significantly influenced the communities I feel connected to?

  • How do I strike a balance between maintaining my individuality and being part of a larger community? Are there aspects of my identity that I've compromised, or strengths I've discovered through my connections?

  • Have there been conflicts within the groups I belong to, and how have these challenges been navigated? What role did I play in resolving or exacerbating these conflicts?

  • What kind of communities or groups do I aspire to belong to in the future? How can I actively work towards fostering a sense of belonging in these spaces?


Recommended Media

Find films, documentaries, books, podcasts, videos and music whose themes portray this core value via the links provided to IMDb, Goodreads and Amazon Books.

Films

“Inside Out” (2015) – This animated film is an excellent example of belonging as it takes an in-depth look at the emotions of a young girl named Riley as she navigates a major life change. Moving to a new city, school, and home disrupts her sense of belonging, leading to a journey through her emotional spectrum (Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger) personified as characters.

It’s a touching story that beautifully portrays the struggle of finding one’s place and adjusting to new circumstances.

“The Namesake” (2006) – Based on Jhumpa Lahiri’s novel, this film tells the story of Gogol Ganguli, the son of Indian immigrants in the U.S., who battles with cultural identity and his sense of belonging.

He navigates the tension between his Bengali heritage and his upbringing in the U.S., ultimately learning to appreciate and understand both parts of his identity, thus finding his true sense of belonging.

Books

“The House on Mango Street” by Sandra Cisneros – This is a powerful novel that deals with Esperanza, a young Latina girl, and her life in the Hispanic quarter of Chicago. Esperanza dreams of a better life and a home of her own, separate from her oppressive neighbourhood.

Throughout the book, she learns about herself and where she comes from, finding a sense of belonging in her community and her writing.

The House on Mango Street
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The Joy Luck Club
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“The Joy Luck Club” by Amy Tan – The novel delves into the lives of four Chinese immigrant mothers and their four American-born daughters.

The story reveals the cultural and generational gaps between them, each finding a sense of belonging in different aspects of their lives – be it in traditional customs, newfound American identity, or a mix of both. It showcases the complexities and struggles of assimilating to a new culture while holding on to one’s roots.